A long hard road ahead
This is what I have been saying for the last 24 hours or so. I know this isn't as heart wrenching news as some have had, but I am still very stressed out. Those who know me, know Hubby is a very large man. I love him just the way he is. The only reason I want him to loose weight is to better his health.
We went to a clinic two and a half hours away yesterday, to see about gastric bypass surgery. I have been of two minds about this. Hubby does need serious intervention, he has never been able to loose enough weight, nor has he been able to keep it off. When he gains it back, he gains much, much more. He is having knee and back problems, and has been loosing a lot of work.
On the other side, If I were to loose my husband from from complications to surgery, I would never recover. We are an odd pair, but we are soul mates, and I love him to the point of obsession. Beyond this, finanatialy and emotionally, I don't think I could raise Lil bit on my own.
It seems that the people at the clinic are seeing it the second way: They have said they won't do the surgery on him until he looses 60 lbs. He is too much a surgery risk, and his health isn't bad enough to chance it.
I am now stressed out to the max. I know that most of this is going to fall on me. I prepare his food, I do the grocery shopping. The dietition pretty much confirmed this, by talking directly to me about calories and food choices once she found out I was the personal chef.
Hubby and I have been there before. I know that this is going to be very hard, and I know that Hubby will resent me trying to "control" his food choices. I know there is much bickering and aggravation ahead.
Also, I know there will be a lot of people that just don't understand after we reach his goal, and still want the surgery. Hubby now weights 100 lbs MORE than the weight he was when he decided to go on a diet the last time. He did loose 50 lbs before he quit. This cycle can't continue. My best friend's father is bed ridden, partly because of his weight. He is 50 years old. We all cried when he got out of his wheel chair to dance with the bride. The last thing I want is for us to have a repeat of this when Lil Bit gets married.
I think that hubby was hoping this would be a quick fix.. He would get the surgery, wouldn't be able to eat, and loose weight. I knew it would be harder than that, and during the lecture things were confirmed for me. Hubby will still have to eat the right things and exercise. He will have to eat a high protein diet for the rest of his life, take mega vitamins, and basically be allergic to sugar. They say that the sugar will make a post operative person throw up. I can't imagine never being able to have birthday cake again, but I would trade all of it to keep Hubby healthy.
I have also learned from all this, that I am way more addicted to food than hubby, even though he is the one with the eating disorder. I use food for celebrations, and special events. I think honestly the reason that I don't have a weight problem is that when I am upset, I just don't eat. Here it is six at night, and I have had a snickers bar and a granola bar all day.
They say it is going to take six months to a year for hubby to get through the program far enough to be approved for the surgery. This is if he looses the weight like he is supposed to. So, for the next year, I will be going with Hubby every six weeks to doctor's appointments two and a half hours away. Looks like Lil bit is going to be spending some quality time with Hubby's parents.
Wish us luck.
We went to a clinic two and a half hours away yesterday, to see about gastric bypass surgery. I have been of two minds about this. Hubby does need serious intervention, he has never been able to loose enough weight, nor has he been able to keep it off. When he gains it back, he gains much, much more. He is having knee and back problems, and has been loosing a lot of work.
On the other side, If I were to loose my husband from from complications to surgery, I would never recover. We are an odd pair, but we are soul mates, and I love him to the point of obsession. Beyond this, finanatialy and emotionally, I don't think I could raise Lil bit on my own.
It seems that the people at the clinic are seeing it the second way: They have said they won't do the surgery on him until he looses 60 lbs. He is too much a surgery risk, and his health isn't bad enough to chance it.
I am now stressed out to the max. I know that most of this is going to fall on me. I prepare his food, I do the grocery shopping. The dietition pretty much confirmed this, by talking directly to me about calories and food choices once she found out I was the personal chef.
Hubby and I have been there before. I know that this is going to be very hard, and I know that Hubby will resent me trying to "control" his food choices. I know there is much bickering and aggravation ahead.
Also, I know there will be a lot of people that just don't understand after we reach his goal, and still want the surgery. Hubby now weights 100 lbs MORE than the weight he was when he decided to go on a diet the last time. He did loose 50 lbs before he quit. This cycle can't continue. My best friend's father is bed ridden, partly because of his weight. He is 50 years old. We all cried when he got out of his wheel chair to dance with the bride. The last thing I want is for us to have a repeat of this when Lil Bit gets married.
I think that hubby was hoping this would be a quick fix.. He would get the surgery, wouldn't be able to eat, and loose weight. I knew it would be harder than that, and during the lecture things were confirmed for me. Hubby will still have to eat the right things and exercise. He will have to eat a high protein diet for the rest of his life, take mega vitamins, and basically be allergic to sugar. They say that the sugar will make a post operative person throw up. I can't imagine never being able to have birthday cake again, but I would trade all of it to keep Hubby healthy.
I have also learned from all this, that I am way more addicted to food than hubby, even though he is the one with the eating disorder. I use food for celebrations, and special events. I think honestly the reason that I don't have a weight problem is that when I am upset, I just don't eat. Here it is six at night, and I have had a snickers bar and a granola bar all day.
They say it is going to take six months to a year for hubby to get through the program far enough to be approved for the surgery. This is if he looses the weight like he is supposed to. So, for the next year, I will be going with Hubby every six weeks to doctor's appointments two and a half hours away. Looks like Lil bit is going to be spending some quality time with Hubby's parents.
Wish us luck.
posted by Teresa | 5:56 PM
1 Comments:
I was just checking in after reading your comment on my Halloween post - it made me laugh about the dress I made. Thanks for that!
I'm sorry you have such struggles ahead of you. I've had diet challenges for years, but nothing so rough at this. I'll keep you guys in my prayers. You can get through this, but you're right that it will be a LOT of work. Hang in there!
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